I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
