so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
