oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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