Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
