her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
