This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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