so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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