i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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