Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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