I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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