he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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