He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
