super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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