Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
