My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
being pregnant is like rehab
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Can you bring me the toilet please
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
