Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Randomize
