i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
