She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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