i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
