Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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