I CAN MOONWALK!
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
