Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
