I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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