Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
