Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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