i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize