I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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