I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
