The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
