See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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