it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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