Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
