so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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