What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
false alarm. still invincible.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
