I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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