Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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