things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
