Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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