just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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