bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
