And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
