I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
