Having a random hookup so left but love u
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
