not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
