i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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