Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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