Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
