Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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