i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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