Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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