Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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