i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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