I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
